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Saturday, August 7, 2010

People I Hate

OK, things are a little stressed as the deadline for Bonneville approaches. As it says on your mirror, "Objects may be closer than they appear." No shit Sherlock! Tuesday at 8am I'm hitting the road but today I'm still trying to wire up the new kill switch.

So I'm waiting in line at the donut shop this morning and I'm seriously considering the penalties for homicide. The people in front of me wait 5 minutes for their turn and when the clerk asks them what they want they say, "Oh l don't know. Let me see ..." I'm thinking that if I could take a video of them no jury in the world would convict me.

Which got me to thinking  about some of the other people I hate:
  • The old lady at the post office who can't decide whether she wants the cat stamps or the bird stamps. Lady, nobody cares. They rip open the envelope and throw it away!
  • The woman at the store who digs around endlessly in the bottom of her purse for 17¢ in change. "No, no, I've got it here somewhere."
  • The mommy who finally gets to the counter at the ice cream shop and then asks little Suzie what flavor she wants. She has to recite them all because Suzie is too cute to be able to read at age 6.
  • The bozo who stands at the counter at McDonalds trying to figure out what to have while we all wait. Hey, genius, it's the same as last week, last month, and last year. You should have it memorized by now. Or are you new to this planet?
  • The woman who wants to write a check at Target. Does she have it out and ready to write? Of course not, she waits until the associate tells her the total and only then explores the dark depths of her bag to find her check book. Does she get her driver's license out while she's down there. No again, this takes another trip into the doom and gloom chamber. Like she didn't know they were going to ask for it?
  • The old man who wants to drive 5 mph below the speed limit. I'm not as young as I once was either but when you notice 20 cars strung out behind you wouldn't it be courteous to pull over?
  • The morons on bicycles who want to ride 2 or 3 abreast while they chat and everyone else piles up behind them. I dream of having a paintball gun at times like that.
And the list goes on and on. Leave a comment below with your favorites