Death March Tours Application Form

Following up on my last idea here's the application for joining a Death March Tour

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Death March Tours

Tour Application and Profile

Name ____________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

City State Zip ____________________________________

Phone/text ______________________________________

Tell us about yourself:

1. Knowledge

 I'm a young punk and I think I know everything.

 I'm a millennial hipster and I know I know everything.

 I'm an old fart and I've forgotten more than those ice holes will ever know.

 I'm just starting and have a BMW GS 1250 so I'm cool.

2. Experience

 I've been to Baja.

 I've been to Bushwick and Berkeley.

 I've done the TAT and was bored.

 I just park my Beemer and stand around looking cool.

3. Favorite Tires

 Whatever knobby is on sale.

 Continental TKC80.

 Dunlop 606

 The ones that came with the bike. They still have those cool little spiky things sticking out.

4. Favorite Destination

 Nearest enduro

 Nearest Starbucks

 Nearest woods

 Nearest biker hangout that's cool this week.

5. Current bike

 KTM 1290 Super Adventure R

 Triumph Tiger Explorer XCa

 Honda Africa Twin (RD07)

 I told you it's a Beemer. Be cool!

6. Road food

 Mickey D's

 Brew pub

 Denny's

 I don't eat. I might get some on my jacket and that wouldn't be cool.

7. Gear

 MSR - sturdy stuff.

 Rev'It - all my friends have it.

 Something I picked up on Craigslist - cheap.

 Klim - I want to look as cool as my bike.

8. Helmet

 Shoei (red / white / blue)

 Arai (flat black)

 Bell (white with scratches)

 Bilt (cool graphics that look like a P-51)

9. Store

 Twisted Throttle

 Street fairs

 Rocky Mountain ATV

 Cycle Gear has cool stuff cheap.

10. Maintenance

 I take it to the dealer

 I take it to an independent shop in Red Hook run by organic, vegan, free range, artisanal, fair trade, lesbian and trans-gender holistic mechanics.

 I change the oil every winter and spark plugs on odd numbered years.

 I haven't gotten enough miles to get the cool free first check.

11. Beer

 PBR

 Panty Peeler IPL

 Rolling Rock

 Wine cooler

12. Non-bike activity

 Nitro Circus dvds

 PS4 - MXGP 3

 No such thing

 Cool vampire biker chick movies

13. Pet

 Pit bull named Honda

 Cat named Dog

 Dog named Wrench

 Hamster named Mr Cool

14. Food

 Burgers

 Sushi

 BBQ

 Fruit salads with Cool Whip

15. Color

 Honda Red

 Artisanal Flat Black

 20-50 Brown

 Kool Lime

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Tourism 101

My new tourist idea. Pick up a couple of dirt bikes, and let other people pay for my fun. No frills, no fancy dinners, posers will be left to fend for themselves.

My tag line:

Fly in, get beat up,
and fly home with bruises and memories you can't get anywhere else!

Let me know if you want to sign up for the Beta group. Suggestions for a name will be gratefully accepted.

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Go with what you got

I used to teach a beginner's photography course at the Ocean Beach Free School. At the first class I would lay out several large 16x20 prints and my Canon SLR with some lenses. They would have their Nikons and Pentaxes proudly sitting in front of them. Everything they needed to start taking perfect pictures.

I would let them ooh and aah over my prints and then I would pull out an old Kodak Brownie from my camera bag and explain that I had taken the photos with it, not the fancy pro equipment. I then took out more of the cameras that I had found in yard sales and passed them out. I explained that for the first third of the class they would be using these to take their pictures. I explained that it was the eye and the heart that took pictures. The cameras were merely electro-mechanical devices that recorded their feelings.

Some of them got it, some of them handed back the cameras and left.

What has this got to do with motorcycles? No much but everything to do with the spirit of adventure. A fancy camera will produce only snapshots in the hands of a person who does not know what they are looking at. A person with the best adventure motorcycle will fail to find the experience they are looking for without an open heart and mind.

What is the perfect adventure bike? Simple, the one you are riding right now! One guy rode a Kawasaki Ninja to Alaska and back with only a sleeping bag tied to the seat. I know a crazy 17 year old kid who rode a Honda 50 from San Francisco to LA down US 1. then on up to Yosemite, and topped it off with a return to the Bay Area. Lois Pryce rode solo from Alaska to Argentina on a Yamaha XT225. And is still going ...

 Adventure doesn't mean far away places and months long trips. It starts by taking a different route home from the grocery store to see what is down that road you've never taken. Stopping for coffee at a place that looks nothing like the usual places you stop at. Setting aside Google Maps and Siri and looking at a paper map to plot your next trip. I look at bikes loaded down with gps and nav gear and wonder where the adventure is in being told what to do by a robotic voice. 

You're never lost, just misplaced. Look at the world with your eyes and your heart. The world is waiting for you.

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Ready for new adventures

Sometimes you feel like 2 wheels. And sometimes you feel like 4. Especially when all four are pulling together. A pickup is nice but, as the old saying goes, "Everything in a pickup is either wet or stolen." The Taco plus a trailer seems to be the best compromise between comfort and carrying capacity.

On the way back to Tooele UT from the Bay Area with my new Taco.
I can't say Tahoe, it sounds too soccer-momish.

This is the stop on the way back that looks forward to returning to the salt flats and finally getting the Moriwaki into the record books.

I'll post pictures from Moab with the 4x4 engaged. I'm looking forward to Murphy's Hogback and Lathrop Canyon on the White Rim Trail.

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Pony Express Trail - 2017

I did the first section last year and then got distracted by home ownership. Who ever lets that happen?

Today was the day to take it a bit further.

One needs to be careful in this area. It's a long way between gas stations and there are very few vehicles on this road to lend a hand.

Rush hour. I can assure you that those sheep were in no big hurry to get wherever they were going. One of the shepherds asked me to wait which was no burden since I was taking my time to begin with.

Lookout Pass. It was amazing to see how the trail wound around the topography. Very relaxed and natural to follow the curves and rises of the hills. I imagine it was easier for the horse to run a little farther than to climb a steep grade.

Beautiful, and desolate.

This is the best I can do for the wild horses. I saw a herd that was near the road but they took off as soon as I got near. Amazing that they exist out here. Not everything is civilized and roped off yet.

I gave this road a miss since I had the wrong tires for really gnarly stuff. Maybe next time. It was tempting though ...

Heading north to get home before dark. I was surprised how many trails and roads there are out here. It definitely requires more of my attention.

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This is from my friend Jenni. I believe she speaks truth to power. Go to her Facebook page and comment or, better yet, reprint and repost this everywhere you can.

I'm proud to have her for a friend.

Jenni Eiswerth

Yesterday at 9:20am · 

I am not a "disgrace to women" because I don't support the women's march. I do not feel I am a "second class citizen" because I am a woman. I do not feel my voice is "not heard" because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman. I do not feel that I "don't have control of my body or choices" because I am a woman. I do not feel like I am " not respected or undermined" because I am a woman. 

I AM a woman. 

I can make my own choices. 

I can speak and be heard. 

I can VOTE. 

I can work if I want. 

I control my body. 

I can defend myself. 

I can defend my family. 

There is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF. 

I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself. 

I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over, which is a personal choice. 

Quit blaming. 

Take responsibility. 

If you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men. 

If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways. 

If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not have the opportunity or means to have their voices heard. 

Saudi Arabia, women can't drive, no rights and must always be covered. 

China and India, infantcide of baby girls. 

Afghanistan, unequal education rights. 

Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone. 

Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. 

Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men's crime. 

Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.

And that's just a few examples. 

So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don't have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it's like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there..

This WOMAN does not support it.

Next...

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Snow Day

This is the National Weather Service forecast:

A 50 percent chance of snow. Cloudy, with a high near 34. East wind around 11 mph. Total daytime snow accumulation of less than one inch possible. (my emphasis)

This is the real world:

Today I will be playing my favorite game - Find the Miata

Tonight is the Utah British Bike Club annual Holiday Dinner. I'll have to get The Beast shoveled out if I go. I don't think the Bonneville or the Miata are appropriate for this trip.

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Stranded

This is my rental car. It won't let me in no  matter how many times I press the unlock button. I'm getting a nice tan while I wait for the service truck. It always happens to me!

Amazing But True

My friends Kiran and Srikar called and asked if I wanted to go for a hike with them. As the alternative was mowing the lawn it wasn't a tough decision. We decided to try out the Deseret Peak Trail about 45 minutes west of my house.

The road was paved until it wasn't but they assured me that it was like many roads in India and was no problem. The top down on Kiran's Mustang made for an excellent view of the fall foliage.

The trip up through the canyon was tight with Flash Flood warnings in places but it wasn't a concern for us in the warm, dry weather.

The trail is a steady climb with an elevation change of ~2500'. We got a late start and decided that we would go as far as we could and then return before it got dark.

Autumn in the mountains is endlessly beautiful.

Everywhere we turned there was another sight to bring a smile to our faces.

My camera is a poor recorder of the magnificent palette nature had on offer.

A frozen waterfall of snow was a reminder of the cool temperatures at night. The sun had dropped behind the ridge so this is where we decided to head back to the car.

What was the "Amazing But True" part of this adventure? Simply the lack of drama. No injuries on the trail. No Search & Rescue team looking for us in the dark. Not even a Band-Aid required. Just a relaxed walk in the woods with friends. So much nicer!

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Idle Time Around The House

"Idle hands are the devil's tools" so goes the old tale.

Before

This seems to be the case. I woke up on Saturday morning and decided that, 

"Today's the day!"

After

This is what it looked like when I got done. It was really a lot of fun, all the hacking and hewing.

This was my implement of mass destruction. Who said home remodeling is hard? The most fun was when I cut through the 110 volt line to the basement lights. Plenty of sparks but luckily the saw has a plastic case to protect me from a YouTube moment.

Other people collect art, but few are this much fun.

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Aeromachi

The original Google+ post is here:
https://plus.google.com/u/0/+JBraunXRV750/posts/82FHZvfnJSY

To say that I stink at social media is like saying that the Empire's Death Star was big. I thought I posted the Day At The Track photos here but they ended up at Google+ instead. Hmmm ...

David posted a reply which went into my spam folder for me to find weeks later. Double Hmmm...

To answer David's question, the bike (#177) is an Aermacchi 350cc single cylinder made in Italy. It is ridden by Walt Fulton, a past national champion many times over, and the current national points leader in his class.

Why the H-D logo and the Halloween colors? In the '60s the Japanese motorcycle makers were dominating US sales and killing off all of the other heritage brands. The Honda CB350 was the little bike that anyone could afford and was out-selling everything in sight. They were light, quick, reliable, and affordable. 

Triumph brought in their TR25W 250 single to have an entry into this market and Harley bought Aermacchi for an instant product line. Neither were especially successful. The Triumph suffered from being British and all of the corporate problems the parent company was having.

The H-D/Aermacchi stumbled because it was the odd duck in the dealer's shop. They just didn't know what to do with it or how to sell it. It was a single to the Honda twin cylinder although it had split dual pipes to disguise the fact. It had kick start to Honda's electric button. Worst of all, it suffered from Harley's reputation for lack of reliability which it added to with its own very dicey electrical components.

Fast forward a few decades and it has become the darling of the vintage race crowd. It takes a few thousand modifications but it's light, fast, and has great handling. You just have to remember to fill the crankcase with olive oil instead of 20-50!

You can find out more about Aermacchi here.

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Not 22 Any More - Part II

Note: Am I the only person in the Universe who loathes the current practise of starting every sentence with "So, ..." ??  Why not add totally and really sound like a brain damaged valley girl !!

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Last week I went hiking with my friend Parveen. We met early and went up into the mountains behind Mt Timpanogos. We drove up past Robert Redford's Sundance Resort and were planning an easy hike on a beautiful day.

This is a well worn trail with plenty of exposed roots and broken rocks. Half way up the trail I tripped over a root and fell on the rocks. Ouch! This one really hurt and it took me a few minutes to get myself together and continue hiking. 

Parveen in front of Stewart Falls

We made it to the falls without further incident and it was really beautiful. Well worth the trip, pun intended. 

As you can see from the picture there is a lower, middle, and upper falls. Being Manly Men we immediately decided to go up to the top of lower falls. While Parveen walked up the trail I started climbing the rocks along side the falls to get to the top.

We met at the top and admired the view.

It was still early so we decided to go to the top of the middle falls. 

Again, Parveen took the trail and I climbed up the rocks. Only one problem, the two didn't connect this time and Parveen and I were separated by about 50 meters.

I was working my way laterally trying to find a way to cross over but each attempt to find a path ended in a magnificent view but no hand or foot holds. I finally found one that looked promising but by now I was tired and sore from my earlier fall. I wasn't desperate but I was admitting to myself that I might have over done it a bit.

Those are full sized people way down there.

I had about 85% confidence that I could make the traverse but, as you can see in the picture above, the other 15% would be fatal. If I slipped or a rock hold broke loose there would be no stopping until I hit the ground below. Splat!! So I sat down on the thin ledge I was on and considered my options. 

Recently I had come upon the book 75 Search and Rescue Stories. Reading it is sobering. Not all of the S&R stories have a happy ending.

One thing the author mentions again and again is:

"When you find yourself in a jam, Stop! Wait for help! You'll only make it worse if you continue."

Tired and injured from the fall on the trail I decided to listen to those words instead of being brave. I made the 911 call and got transferred to Search and Rescue who told me that they would be out in about an hour.

I passed the hour observing nature in the large. I had closed my eyes to rest a bit when I heard this strange whirring noise. I opened my eyes to see a humming bird only 3" from my face. It just hovered there looking me over and, I'm sure, thinking what a dumb nut I was to be in a place where only it should be.

Right on schedule I got a call back asking me to show myself so the team could come get me. Waving my hat while holding onto the rocks so I wouldn't lose my balance they told me they spotted me and would there in a minute. Suddenly there was a guy who appeared out of nowhere and another behind me who had come up a different route. After checking that I was alright they had me put on a helmet and harness to that they could rope me in between them. While talking I mentioned that I read a book that some guy had written about S&R in Utah that had emphasized the rule to Stop and Wait before something disastrous happened. "Oh, That's my book. I'm really glad that somebody read it and paid attention." He laughed when I told him I was sorry that I didn't have it with me so he could sign it.

Shaun Roundy and another guy who's name I can't remember

Then we went across the rock face that I had earlier stopped at. It's much easier when you're tied to two other guys who know what they are doing. Fifteen minutes later we were across and on solid ground. Parveen was there waiting patiently as only a good friend will.

You might think that was the end of the story but there was more to come. We followed the S&R guys out on a different trail than the one we took in to the falls. This one went down to the resort and when we got to the road we had no idea where we were. We saw some BYU students and asked them for directions but they had no idea what we were trying to tell them so we just started walking.

A few minutes later they pulled up and asked if we wanted a ride. Sure! We hopped in the back of their pickup truck and rode to an intersection in the road. While we were trying to decide what to do a resort person pulled up and asked if we needed help. Once they deciphered our muddled description of where we needed to go they said it was only a couple of miles up the road. The kids said to hang tight and they would take us up to our car. Good thing because the "couple of miles" turned out to be more like five or six.

They dropped us off and we thanked them all profusely. I told them that BYU was where "The men are all strong and the women are all devastatingly beautiful!" They laughed at that and waved goodbye to us.

The moral of this story is that we all need a little help from our friends and, very often, from complete strangers. What makes life so amazing is that those strangers are so abundant and so generous.

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At home in Utah

Several people have sent questions about whether the Beast made it to Utah with it's manifest of motorcycles and other stuff.

As you can see, it is at home in Tooele.

And the motorcycles are safely stored in the garage.

The trip was pretty uneventful except for the run from Grand Junction, CO to Helper, UT. I was getting pretty burnt out and wanted to push through after a short nap in Grand Junction. I queued up an audio book on my tablet and started listening as I got on I-70. 

I admit that I still call them Books-on-Tape from days past when they were a collection of cassette tapes for your dashboard player. They are a great way to pass the time on the highway when you are trying to get from Point A to Point B as painlessly as possible. 

I was listening to "Fly By Wire" as I rolled onto I-70 and vaguely remember turning north on US 6 at Green River. After that, nothing until I passed Helper and started up the climb to Soldier Pass. Jeez Louise, did I sleep through the whole thing?!?! I was up to Chapter 14 and had no recollection of the road or the story. Creepy!

The climb up the mountain is steep, tight and curvy, mostly two lanes with occasional passing lanes to let faster (and braver) drivers get by. I was certainly focused now as it was dark and Utah does not waste a lot of money on guard rails. They have this quaint philosophy that each person should take responsibility for their own life and suffer the consequences of their own stupidity. Darwin would be proud.

With a truck full of motorycycles and the trailer behind me I took my time and happily pulled over for people to pass me. I was tired but the road and the load had me attentive and alert. Once over the top the northern decent is a wider and gentler grade, much easer to navigate.

Back to level ground in Spanish Fork I was on familiar ground. US 6 links to I-15 and from there it's just a straight shot up to I-80 west. Then the last 25 miles were the same as I take to work and back every day. I got home at 3am and admit that I just pulled up, turned off the ignition, and went inside to go to bed. I think I woke sometime around noon.

Another successful road trip but I think I might break for a motel along the way next time. Every once in a while I'm reminded that I'm not 22 any more.

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Rain

55 miles of liquid sunshine.

The Way West

Morning sunrise in my rearview mirror. Evening sunset coming through the windshield. And the road rolls on between them.

Westward Ho(pefully)

The Beast starts off with a slight delay for a trailer wiring harness upgrade. Noon departure turned into 2:20 but I've done gat worse in the past. At least it's the same day!!

The Wrong Way Round - Round 3

Two trucks today - almost ...

I am working remotely from CT which puts me 2 hours ahead of my teammates in Salt Lake City. Even though I start at 7am here in CT I get caught up in their time frame and end up working later than I should.

That was today's problem. I promised to fix a defect for our upcoming release and the next thing I know it's 2pm which is too late to go look at trucks. 

I've found two more trucks, the Beauty and The Beast.

Beauty

Beauty:
A step up from the ones I had been looking at in trim level. Low mileage, clean truck, and a reasonable price. Lots of bells and whistles that the other plain jane trucks didn't have. Especially my favorite, cruise control. 

Not just one salesman but two responded to my inquiry. What a refreshing change. More unbelievable is that the stories I got from each of them matched. Either they read from the same fact sheet or the truck is actually what they say it is.

The Beast

The Beast:
Holy cow! Silverado 2500 with an 8' bed AND a dual cab. I may have to register this with the Coast Guard instead of the DMV. It's also a 1 ton chassis with a V-8 engine. I could tow a freight train with this thing. And to make it even more impressive it's a 4x4!! 

Of course it won't sip gas like a Prius but I'll bet I could fit one of the cute little things into the back for a spare.

The Problem: 
Beauty is about 2 hours north, just outside Boston. The Beast is down south on Long Island and about 2½ hours away. Exactly in the opposite directions from each other.

My plan is to leave tomorrow exactly at noon and grab the ferry from Bridgeport to Long Island. After a 30 minute ocean cruise the dealer for The Beast is about 20 minutes away. If everything looks good I'll get back on the ferry and drive it home. 

If not there will be time to scoot up to Boston and check out Beauty. A lot of driving but I intend to own a truck tomorrow. Come hell or high tide.

If the good lord is willing and the creek don't rise ...

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