Death March Tours Application Form

Following up on my last idea here's the application for joining a Death March Tour

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Death March Tours

Tour Application and Profile

Name ____________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

City State Zip ____________________________________

Phone/text ______________________________________

Tell us about yourself:

1. Knowledge

 I'm a young punk and I think I know everything.

 I'm a millennial hipster and I know I know everything.

 I'm an old fart and I've forgotten more than those ice holes will ever know.

 I'm just starting and have a BMW GS 1250 so I'm cool.

2. Experience

 I've been to Baja.

 I've been to Bushwick and Berkeley.

 I've done the TAT and was bored.

 I just park my Beemer and stand around looking cool.

3. Favorite Tires

 Whatever knobby is on sale.

 Continental TKC80.

 Dunlop 606

 The ones that came with the bike. They still have those cool little spiky things sticking out.

4. Favorite Destination

 Nearest enduro

 Nearest Starbucks

 Nearest woods

 Nearest biker hangout that's cool this week.

5. Current bike

 KTM 1290 Super Adventure R

 Triumph Tiger Explorer XCa

 Honda Africa Twin (RD07)

 I told you it's a Beemer. Be cool!

6. Road food

 Mickey D's

 Brew pub

 Denny's

 I don't eat. I might get some on my jacket and that wouldn't be cool.

7. Gear

 MSR - sturdy stuff.

 Rev'It - all my friends have it.

 Something I picked up on Craigslist - cheap.

 Klim - I want to look as cool as my bike.

8. Helmet

 Shoei (red / white / blue)

 Arai (flat black)

 Bell (white with scratches)

 Bilt (cool graphics that look like a P-51)

9. Store

 Twisted Throttle

 Street fairs

 Rocky Mountain ATV

 Cycle Gear has cool stuff cheap.

10. Maintenance

 I take it to the dealer

 I take it to an independent shop in Red Hook run by organic, vegan, free range, artisanal, fair trade, lesbian and trans-gender holistic mechanics.

 I change the oil every winter and spark plugs on odd numbered years.

 I haven't gotten enough miles to get the cool free first check.

11. Beer

 PBR

 Panty Peeler IPL

 Rolling Rock

 Wine cooler

12. Non-bike activity

 Nitro Circus dvds

 PS4 - MXGP 3

 No such thing

 Cool vampire biker chick movies

13. Pet

 Pit bull named Honda

 Cat named Dog

 Dog named Wrench

 Hamster named Mr Cool

14. Food

 Burgers

 Sushi

 BBQ

 Fruit salads with Cool Whip

15. Color

 Honda Red

 Artisanal Flat Black

 20-50 Brown

 Kool Lime

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