Some pictures from North Africa when I was younger and better looking.

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Lemonade

Here's a story that should bring a smile to your face:

I was living in San Diego with my girlfriend and we were having a party. She said, "We need lemons for the drinks. Go get some lemons."

So I hopped in the car, drove to the grocery store, and bought a bag of lemons.

When I got back she said, "Where have you been?" "I went out and got lemons like you told me to." "You're an idiot! I meant, Go out and pick some from the lemon tree in the back yard." "Ohhh ... "

I didn't know you could use lemons that didn't have Sunkist printed on the side.

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A Fish Tale

I've never caught a fish in my life. And not for lack of trying.

Friends fish. Friends catch fish. Friends take me fishing. The fish laugh!

One time a friend guaranteed that I would catch fish if I went with him. Despite my protestations I finally acceded and joined him. I used his rod and the same bait. I sat next to him and watched as he caught fish while I sat and got a sunburn.

He offered advice, nothing. Finally, he handed me his pole and took mine. He continued to catch fish with the pole and bait I had been using while I sat dejectedly watching the fish swim past me. 

In a final act of desperation I threw all my bait into the water and watched the fish go into a feeding frenzy. They knew, all along, that their patience was greater than mine.

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New York

I have an '84 El Camino that is a work in progress. Today I was flushing out my cooling system which involves filling and draining the radiator several times. First I filled it with a cleaner and ran it for a couple of days. Today I drained that and filled it with fresh water to flush out the cleaner and all the bad stuff it had dislodged. Fill, run the engine for 15 minutes, drain, repeat until the water comes out clear. Leaving the car running unattended with the keys in it on the street in front of the house is not a problem in our small town. However, it did bring back a memory.

As a 20-something I lived in Connecticut and regularly went down to New York City to see my friend Chip. He lived in Queens and we regularly took the Cross-Bronx Expressway to go into the City. One time we went by a car that was sitting next to the roadway and Chip noted that the car must have just pulled over. 

"How do you know that?", I asked.

"Because it's still all there." he replied.

True to his words, as we went by an hour later the doors and the trunk lid were open. Radio gone, glove box rifled, and the spare tire taken was our guess. 

The next time we passed, the car was sitting on the ground with all four tires stolen. Later the hood was up and who knows what was missing there. Maybe the engine? It was like a ultra-slow motion movie of a disappearing car.

That evening, as we went into the Village for drinks, the entire car was gone. Who knows how or why. And who cares?

Just another day in New York City. The city that never sleeps.

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Success

Woody Allen said the 80% of success was just showing up. I take that to mean both mentally and physically. You can't get anywhere if you're not there to start with.

Staring blanking and doom scrolling with a cell phone is not being there. Spending time messaging with "friends" on FakeBook is not being there.

Put down the phone, turn off the computer. set aside the tablet, and show up in the real world. Amazing things will happen.

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Money Matters

There was a time when I was a happy-go-lucky beach bum party guy. I always managed to find the money to pay the rent on the house I shared with two other similar guys but for the most part the money in my pockets was all the money I had in the world. A 6-pack of beer was a big investment back then.

A beer and huevos rancheros for breakfast every morning, the job in a motorcycle shop, and partying down at the beach every night was my daily routine. Although I was having the best time of my life, I realised that I was going nowhere.

A call from a friend in Boston with an offer of a job made me think that a change in location might be just what I needed to break this nihilistic cycle. 

Soon a steady job and a few bucks in the bank lent some stability to my life. It got me thinking about the future and what plans I could make. Now that I had some money I wanted to keep it. At a friend's house I ran across the book, The Richest Man In Babylon. It opened my eyes as never before to the ease of keeping money and putting to work for you. There was no mumbo-jumbo or secret tricks that were unreasonable, just common sense that even I could understand.

Let's say you had a 6-pack and were going out for the evening. You would drink all six bottles. But what if you only took five bottles and left one at home. What if you did this five times? The sixth time you would have a "free" 5-pack to go out with and could put the money you would have spent in a piggy bank. Trust me, the difference in drinking 5 beers and 6 beers in neglidgeable.

This theory applies to everything; spend slightly less and save the difference. To make it simple just take 10% of everything you get and put it into your piggy bank. 10% of your paycheck, 10% of something you sold on eBay, 10% of anything that comes your way. It's painless and builds up quickly. It becomes a habit and you never miss it. Spend the 90% so you can enjoy life and save 10% to enjoy the future.

The Richest Man In Babylon by George Clason

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Life lesson

My friend Dave and I were camping in Yosemite for a few days. As we were packing and getting ready to go I mentioned that I wanted to stop and see my aunt and uncle in Merced as we headed home. Dave declared that it would be out of the way and a delay to our trip. Since he was driving I let it go and thought no more about it.

However, as we got to the Fresno/Merced junction Dave stayed to the right and headed to Merced. I told him that I thought he was in a hurry to get back home and he replied, 

If it's important to you, it's important to me.

That magnanimous gesture has stayed with me over the years and I have tried to live up to his words ever since. 

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Life Choices

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I wanted to be gay.

I had no idea what that really meant but I passed this little bar on my way to my paper route every day and it seemed to be a good idea. The guys wore sharp clothes, listened to cool jazz, and drove great cars. They would wave as I passed by but never tried to hustle me.

Later on, when I realized what gay really meant I wasn't horrified, I just decided that I liked girls, the Beach Boys, and motorcycles more than boys, Miles Davis, and Cadillac De Villes.

Later, I would come to appreciate Miles Davis, Ornette Coleman, and the rest.

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Nuts & Bolts

One of the first things that they teach at Honda Technical Training is how to tighten a bolt. Simple right? Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

How much righty is the problem most people get wrong. Most overtighten screws and bolts under the impression that more is always better. However, the esteemed Kevin Cameron* pointed out that when a bolt is tightened properly it stretches ever so slightly. To tighten it further stretches the bolt to the point of failure and the stretchy tension is lost. This will not necessarily cause the bolt to break but will degrade to bolt's ability to stay in place.

At Honda Tech the student is presented with a board full of nuts and bolts. They are then asked to tighten them as they thought best. Finally, the instructor comes around with a torque wrench and measures the amount that was used. 99% were over-torqued !!

Every auto and motorcycle manual comes with a list of torque values to correctly tighten the engine and vehicle. Check it out. And pay attention. Kevin is watching !!

* https://www.cycleworld.com/story/blogs/ask-kevin/nuts-and-bolts-of-nuts-and-bolts/

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Too many motorcycles and not enough time to ride them

Once upon a time I had one motorcycle. I rode it all the time. Jump on and go wherever I wanted. Then I got another motorcycle. One for the road and one for the dirt. That was the beginning of the end.

With one moto if something needs work you do it and go riding. With two, you jump on the one that is working until it needs work and then you have to fix both of them. 

This expands exponentially with the acquisition of the third, fourth, etc. If you have friends with motos you soon find that you are fixing theirs as well.

It just needs this one little thing

are the words of doom. It is rarely just that simple because you always notice just one other little thing and down the rabbit hole you go.

I had a friend who had a method to this madness. He was into vintage Harleys. 

1. He had one waiting to come apart.
2. One apart, waiting for parts.
3. One with parts waiting to go back together.
4. One that was together and he could ride until it was back to #1
5. Plus a Honda Goldwing that never needed anything when all else failed

I just finished a friend's bike and he's in Montana for several days. My wife's bike is tuned up and ready to go but she can't ride for a couple of weeks. My VFR750 is on the lift waiting for carb work but the Africa Twin is sitting in the driveway ready to go.

Maybe I can sneak out and enjoy the day before somebody drops by with a problem.

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Twenty Years Ago

Much hiking but little biking lately. Snow on the trails has made them muddy and treacherous. Wrenching on the Triumph when I can gather enough enthusiasm and patience to attack the wiring problem has been my main moto activity.

To be fair, I think I may have been my own worst enemy with this one. I tried to change too many things at once instead of taking it step-by-step. George Lucas can rest easy this time.

I ran across this old message to a friend that you might find amusing. Enjoy.

----------------------------

Sorry to hear about your crash Milt. You sound as if you are unhurt which is 

the main thing.

I'm not sure what you mean by my  "death march". We've christened that puddle 

(pond?) you decided not to cross as Lake Milt.

If it will make you feel any better let me tell you my story of woe. The 

weekend before last I and my nephew were supposed to meet Dave at Whitcomb 

Summit for a ride to route sheet the rally loops. As usual I was late and 

Dave had given up on me and gone home.

Owen and I unloaded the bikes, the TA for me and my MT250 for him. You may 

remember it because of its strawberry injector oil. I didn't bring the maps 

because Dave said he had some new routes and would bring his. 

Owen and I did the first loop from memory without problem. We refilled the 

250 and took off on the 2nd loop. It went well but we had extra time before 

getting back to WS to meet Beth so I suggested we go exploring.

Off down this road we went and didn't worry as it kept getting smaller and 

rougher. Finally we were down to single track when we came upon a couple of 

hikers. Since I was on the Transalp and Owen is a new rider I decided to get 

advice about what was ahead. After some discussion I decided to keep going. I 

was assured that the trail came out to a road at the bottom of a steep hill. 

The hikers seemed to think that we could make it down without too much 

difficulty. And they were right. It was steep but by being careful we got to 

the bottom with no problems. 

But that's were our problems began. We lost the trail and it was too steep to 

go back up. After half an hour of mucking about we found the hiking trail and 

began to follow it. Problem #2 - the river. I was trying to decide how best 

to ford it since it was only about 20" deep and about 30' across but Owen 

wanted to try the foot bridge. Good idea but the end of the bridge was 30" in 

the air. So we lifted the 250 pound MT up and onto it with only minimal 

grunting and took it across. Then came the 400 pound TA. With much huffing 

and puffing we finally got it up and across.

Problem #3 - We are now on a hiking trail that has steep inclines with roots 

and sharp turns. Nothing you can get a run at and no traction. More huffing 

and puffing.

And it's getting late, and dark. Finally we just left the bikes in the woods 

and walked out by flashlight. We must have walked a couple of miles before we 

got to the road and it all looked nasty. When we got to the road we flipped a 

coin as we had no idea where we were.

A mile and a half later we came to a village and knocked on the first door we 

came to. A 75 year old woman came to the door and answered our plea for water 

and a phone. I called Beth on her cel phone and found out that she had called 

out the State Police since we were 2 1/2 hours overdue. The woman said that 

it would be easier for her to drive us to WS than to give Beth directions and 

have her get lost. What a kind soul.

When we got to WS there were two cruisers waiting. I went to tell them we 

were OK but Beth got me first and started giving me hell. The cops just stood 

there trying not to laugh at the shit I was getting. They probably thought 

that anything they were going to say was easy compared to what I was getting. 

Believe me, it was a very cold and silent ride home to CT.

-- Aftermath --

I called Dave the next morning and asked if he would come help me get the 

bikes out of the woods. I knew where the trail ended and so we hiked in from 

there. Where it seemed like a mile or two at night it was less than half a 

mile in the morning. It must have been because it was pitch black and we were 

so exhausted.

The bikes started ok and we pushed them up the first incline and got going. 

We go stuck a couple of times but nothing that was a show stopper. The big 

deal was that the trail was 6" wide next to a 25' drop into the river in a 

couple of places. Not a good place to slip or slide.

Then we got to a spot where the TA was just not going to go. A slick slope 

with roots sticking out and a tree to go around. No amount of pushing a 

shoving was getting it up and over. Luckily I had brought a block and tackle 

so we put a tie down around a tree and then hooked onto the TA's frame. It 

finally budged.

Just as we were getting going again a group of young (18-20's) hikers came 

by. The first informed us that motorized vehicles were prohibited on this 

trail. I explained that I had gotten lost and certainly had no intention on 

being here. She repeated that I wasn't supposed to be there and I tried to 

be reasonable. Finally, she led her merry band ahead but each one of the 

little tree huggers had to repeat that motorized vehicles were prohibited. 

Not one of them offered to help us and I was ready to wipe the smirk of the 

face of the last one with a tire iron. I can only hope that when one of them 

needs rescuing that I'm there to proclaim that motorized helicopters are 

prohibited and they can limp out with their broken leg.

Dave and I finally got out from there without further incident and got the 

bikes loaded on my trailer. Dave got his map out and we checked it for the 

route Owen and I had taken. It started out as a double dashed line and then 

just ended. No single dashes or dotted lines, nothing until we got to the 

trail along the river.

But we got through it in one piece. Beth calmed down after a few days of 

reminding me that this wasn't the first  "adventure" I'd ever had. I must 

admit that I didn't know there were so many synonyms for  "stupid" and  "dumb". 

Owen wasn't too put off by it all and wants to try it again in the spring but 

probably with a map next time. I'm going to be working out with weights this 

winter so that I can pick up a Transalp single handed. 

Lastly, I'd still be there pushing the TA if it weren't for Dave's help. 

Thanks!

I only wish I'd taken some pictures. ;)

J.

31 Oct 2004

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Let's try this again !!

This year I'm leading a trip across Utah on the original Pony Express Trail (all dirt but not too tough). An overnight campout at Blue Lake and then return on the original Transcontinental Railroad roadbed (all dirt and a little tougher but not technical). Anyone is welcome to join. No charge, just bring your own tent and cook pot. Details to follow.

My other plan is to traverse and document the Hastings Cutoff. This is the route the Donner Party took that led to their disaster. It's a trail that will be "lost" if people don't use it. I'm starting the research and will post as I make progress.

Stay tuned.

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