Fun on two wheels

In case you missed it, today is World Hypnotism Day. Now repeat after me,

I am getting sleepy.
This is the greatest blog on the web.
I will read it every day and tell all my friends about it.

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Here's a video of a guy whose skills on two wheels are truly hypnotizing.

New Year's Resolution #2

I resolve to do at least two track days this year.

Track Days - It strikes fear into the hearts of otherwise fearless riders. And endless excuses. 

1. I don't have a track bike
2. I don't have the right leathers
3. My bike isn't in good shape
4. I'm not in good shape
5. I'll be embarrassed
6. I'm broke

Taken in order I think #5 is the #1 reason a lot of riders don't do a track day. The thought that all the other riders, whizzing past, would beat their egos into submission has more people staying away than would like to admit it. Riders who would do heroically stupid things on the road suddenly get shy when it comes to the relative safety of the track. Maybe they're afraid of finding out that their visions of being a great rider are tragically flawed. Hard to find excuses for why you suck on the track when everyone is watching. Is it better to live with our delusions than to try to get better?

This is exactly why each of us needs, to get out on the track with some expert instruction. A day on the track will make us suck less. It's not going to turn us into instant Rossis or Haydens. But it will put a lot more skill in our brains which translates into more, and safer, fun on the road. Plus, it's a blast to be able to go as fast as you want without fear of some  texting freak cutting you off and killing you.

The cost can be difficult in this economy but a little juggling of priorities could easily cover the cost. A couple of pizza nights instead of Chez Pierre with the money saved going directly into an envelope in the back of the sock drawer would cover a lot of it. Wine from Trader Joes instead of Chateau LaPrixGrande would help too. Think of the budget you survived on in college and you get the idea.

I've seen bikes of every sort at track days. Good tires and a little bit of safety wire and you're in business. You are riding on good tires aren't you!? Leathers are available for rent at the track or look for bargains on CraigsList. eBay has new ones as cheap as $179 and a used one for $31 (Item number: 330390859853). Vanson Leathers has an Open House twice a year with half price bargains on some racing suits.

USCRA has a one day track school for beginners for only $75 that includes a one year membership to race. On my Christmas Wish List #12 I posted a few other track schools to consider.

Who knows? You just might find out that you don't suck as bad as you feared and you are guaranteed to have the time of your life! See you in Turn 3.

Resolutions For The New Year

I'd like to say that I missed yesterday's post because I was out of sorts from partying all night long. However, those days are long in the rear view mirror. I celebrated the New Year with the people of Rio de Janeiro and went to bed.


It seems that every year I make the same resolutions: More riding, Less weight! Yesterday I spent some time considering what was obstructing these goals. The weight thing is no secret, a fondness for eating and an aversion to exercise.


Riding is another matter. I certainly love motorcycles and I love getting on one and riding it. But over the last many years that love has been tarnished. It's obviously not because I don't have enough of them. They're in the basement, the garage, the shed, and even in the living room. And it's not because I don't have one for every inclination; sport, sport touring, dirt, dual sport, race, and trail.


As I walked through the woods yesterday pondering the new year I came to the conclusion that somewhere along the way there was a subtle shift that I hadn't noticed. At some point the bikes began to own me rather than me owning them. I had become servant to their always dead batteries and ever clogging carburetors. I couldn't just slap on a helmet and go for a ride, I had to push a couple out of the way to get to the one I wanted. I had to plan ahead to hook up a charger to make sure the battery was ready. Then it there was putting Techron in the fuel tank and the first 20 miles of riding while the crap in the carbs washed out and they started acting properly.

My first motorcycle was a humble Honda C110. 50cc of raw power and amazing handling for a 17 year old boy. What is most amazing is that I didn't kill myself with it. But it was the magic carpet that liberated me from an oppressive father and sent me out into a world that knew no bounds. I used to sneak out of my bedroom window at night and ride for hours through the back roads of the East Bay area. Sure I bent push rods by the dozen when I floated the valves trying to get the last bit of speed out of it but it was my bike and I loved it. One bike, one boy, hundreds of adventures.


I have no desire to buy another and relive my youth. The kernel of truth to be learned was that I had one bike and it took me everywhere. It was always ready to go because it was always going.

Now I have all the bikes I want but it's not making me happy. Do I really need 5 dirt bikes? Or 4 sport bikes? Or ...? I remember a long time ago a friend who had 7 Harleys and a Gold Wing. He told me that he needed 7 Harleys so that at least one was running at any given time. The Gold Wing was to go for parts for the Harleys. I now know what he meant.


So my New Year's resolution is to make choices about what to keep and what to sell. And for some, what to put into stasis. I'll never sell my CL72, it's been in the family for the last 35 years. Will I ever ride it again? Doubtful. So I'll go through the engine, clean the carbs, get it repainted and then drain everything and put it on display. Same with the CB77 and the MR175. The vintage race bikes are already on display. The Transalp, the VF1000R, and the R100RS will be riders.


The rest of the bikes will be at VMD with price tags on them. Some of them have been old friends but it's time to go. My time this year will be spent building the Land Speed Record bike for Bonneville in August. I'm sure the SL350K2 will understand.

End of the decade

I'll close out the decade with one of my favorite rants. Paddy Donnelly echos my thoughts about the poor state of spelling and grammer on the web. Not just the "C U LTR" texting crap but things like the ugly to/too/two misuse you see all the time on craigslist and all over the web. He certainly does it more eloquently and graphically than I could. And it comes with a nice, bright chart you can print out for your Luddite acquaintances. Check it out here


On a positive note for people who spend a lot of time on the web, arc90 laboratory has come up with a program called readability.  It's a free program that strips away everything on  a web page except for the text and the ads. No more ads, popups, dancing fat girls, or single mothers trying to get you to refinance! My experience is that it gets it right 98% of the time and you just hit your browser refresh button to restore the original view if you don't like the results. Best of all, you get to choose the font, font-size, and layout style which makes it great for "mature" readers who don't like to stare at tiny typefaces.


Tomorrow, New Year's Resolutions. Leave your resolutions in the comments section.
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Pretty Pictures

Off to see a client early this morning so I'll just post a link to some pretty pictures.

Make it personal

Instead of motorcycles I'll tell you about a cool design item today. With FontCapture you can create your own font to use in OpenOffice Write, MS Word, and whatever Mac people use.

Here is the font I created from my handwriting with FontCapture in just a few minutes.

• Download the template from FontCapture
  
• Fill it in
• Scan it
• Upload the scan file
• Download the font
• Drag it into the font directory
• Use it like any other font!

You do need a scanner to convert the template to a file but there are no other special requirements.

And did I mention that it's FREE!?

I used a thin ball point pen for the sample above. For BOLD I could do it again with a Sharpie pen. For an italic font I could lean the paper at an angle as I wrote. How about a secret code by mixing up the letters at random. I could write my message with a regular font and then convert it to my "secret code" font and print it out. Very cool if I was 6 years old!

If you were serious about Typography (and who isn't?) FontCapture could be your own type foundry. Have fun and post a comment with your suggestions.

2 guys, 6 wheels, 8 cylinders

They are calling it The Dumb Way Round. Two guys riding around the world on 1937 Nimbus motorcycles with sidecars. With an obvious poke in the eye for those wussie riders they state, "any fool could ride from Norway to Singapore on a new bike, but doing it on a 70 year old name would take A Real Man."

They will arrive in NYC soon and gatherings are being organized. I'll post more info as I know it. Until then you can follow the boys' web site here and their blog here.

Motorcycle Origami

Although the days are getting longer there are still many long cold nights to go before the snow is gone. Sure, you could go sit in the work shop with a beer and dream about warm summer days but you probably want to do something more active. But not as involved as tearing the head off the engine and finding out why the intake valves are stuck in the guides.

How about the ancient Oriental art of origami? Better still, how about some motorcycle origami? And I don't mean taking your bike out and wadding it up into a ball against the nearest tree.

Yamaha Japan has a paper craft site filled with templates for recreating motorcycles out of paper. Download the files, print them out on your computer printer, and get busy with the scissors and glue. There are street bikes, dirt bikes, race bikes, vintage bikes, and scooters.

There is an ultra-realistic model of the new V-Max that looks like it would fill your nights until the solstice. The only details it seems to be missing are little paper pistons and cam shafts!


If you want to sharpen your paper folding skills before starting check out this traditional site. It has instructions for every level including animations of just how to do each one. And if you forgot how to fold a cootie catcher you'll find it here.


Send me pictures of your projects and I'll post them here.

Found under the tree

On Any Sunday - The greatest motorcycle movie ever made! (YMMV). Sure you've watched it before but I, for one, have never tired of watching it again and again.


 http://www.hulu.com/watch/79438/on-any-sunday

Merry Christmas

I'll simply say Merry Christmas before I start the ritual of last minute wrapping, and friends and family visiting. I've had fun writing this blog, it's been a great exercise to get my brain in gear each morning and share some of the things I've found.

If your tradition is for something other than Christmas feel free to wish me whatever is appropriate for you. I hate that watered down, one size fits all, "Holiday Wishes" pablum. Wishing me a Happy Hanukkah or Joyous Kwanzaa tells me it comes from your heart and not your lawyer or public relations firm.

Right now I'm hoping that I've been good enough that Santa will leave that retro Interceptor under the tree. I'll be back in a couple of days with New Year's lists.

Faithful Restorations

Blatantly ripped off from Tony Foale on the USCRA list. If you don't know Tony Foale you don't know one of the premier minds in motorcycle frame and suspension design. You also don't know a genuinely nice guy who is happy to share thoughts and insights about his work. Check out these books. Warning: They are not cheap, but they are worth every cent if you are serious about this sort of thing!

Motorcycle Handling and Chassis Design: the art and science

Motorcycle Chassis Design: The Theory and Practice

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Those of you into faithful restorations may find the following guidance inspirational. Although written by one more interested in cars than bikes, the methods outlined are equally applicable and set the standard for others to follow. Tony

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Boy, it really galls my threads when these ignoramuses go off about how the Corvette crowd is 'over-restoring' cars! I say, restored means "exactly* as the factory did it, no matter what. I spent 95 weeks last year doing an accurate and complete ground-up restoration on my '67. And, let me tell you, some of those rubber and glass pieces are *really* hard to restore after grinding them up!


For some folks, simply applying a bit of overspray while painting is 'good enough.' I scoff at this. I meticulously copied onto the mufflers, droplet by droplet, the exact overspray pattern that was there originally. Even the runs and sags at the bottom of the door panels were duplicated. Your average 'restorer' will just slap some new paint on, calling it 'original' if it is the same color. Jeeez. I chemically removed every vestige of *the original paint*, then broke it down, reformulated it, and re-applied it. Sure, I had to use substitute volatile carrier (thinner), but since it evaporates anyway, I claim that it was not originally 'on the car' when it left the factory gates.

Some folks think using the 'correct' fasteners is good enough. Ha! I made sure to cross-thread the left rear upper transmission crossmember bolt, just as the (sometimes inebriated) factory worker was known to. I removed the third from the right lower grille attachment screw, which a previous owner had erroneously installed, in spite of the well-documented fact that none of these were installed at the factory until after 3:43 pm on October 17th, 1966. I made sure to scratch the frame in the appropriate places, just as the handling mechanisms at the factory did. Some previous owner had removed the scratches, in an effort to make the car 'perfect.' What was he thinking? I even installed the #3 cylinder's exhaust lifter upside down, which was a rare (1 of 3 such built), but documented occurrence. Sure, it runs like hell, but hey, it's _original_!

Some folks get a new set of tires that LOOK like the originals, and call that good enough. Not me. I got THE ORIGINAL tires out of a landfill, ground them up, and restored them. I was able to find about 91.7% of the rubber which had worn off, by vacuuming the roadside dust over the roads the car had travelled, and separating out the correct molecules from the other debris with a mass-spectrographic double-diathermic isopropadiaphanometer molecular identifier. NOT cheap, let me tell you. But, correct is correct. Some folks put on new valve stems and caps, and away they go. We purists know that it IS important to align the seam line on the valve cap to the correct angle, just as it left the factory ('indexed' valve caps, Section T-26-B.5 of the Official Sniveler's Guide to CORRECT Corvette Assembly).

Changing the oil is considered routine by some 'restorers'. They throw out the old, slap in some new, maybe even 'improved' oil, and a new filter. Not a real purist. I have the original oil broken down and re-refined. The old additives are removed, restructured, and re-added. I even recover as many molecules of the burned or dripped oil as possible, and add them back in. This means the filter must be dismantled, which ruins the case, so it has to be remelted and reformed into a filter. Re-using the original paint, of course.

Some bozos throw in a Sears Die-Hard, and off they go. Some so- called restorers buy a reproduction 'tar-top' battery, and call THAT good enough (*scoff*). I found my original battery and remanufactured it. No wimpy replacing the innards with new, either. I melted down the original plates, then recast them in the correct factory molds. Saving the original electrolyte, of course. Now, you might think, gee, that seems pretty far-fetched, this guy is extreme. Well, you ain't seen nothing yet. I also was able to procure the original ELECTRONS which had come with the car, and reinstall them. It seems that over the years, the car had given and recieved a few jump starts, and some of the original electrons had thus transferred to other vehicles, and some from other cars had contaminated my car. Thankfully, there is an electron sorting and ID accessory for the molecular identifier, which allowed me to correct this blatant slap to true originality.

One thing holds me back from being 100% correct. Some fool of a previous owner had changed the tires, and did not retain the original air. I know, hard to believe, but it happened- some folks just don't 'get it.' Now, I have located about 24.6% of the original air molecules with the Mass-Spectragraphic double diathermic isopropa diaphanometer, but many of them have been sucked into other engines, combusted, and turned into CO, CO2, NOx, etc. If anyone is aware of a device to spot the correct air molecules after they have been broken up and combined in other chemicals, please let me know. I guess I COULD settle for some air molecules from the Bowling Green tire-mounting area vicinity, captured about 9:47 am on September 5th, 1966. Ah, well, it's only a few points off at showtime...

Christmas Wish List #12

Winding up the 12 days of Christmas Wish Lists I'm going to list what I think every motorcyclist wishes she or he will find under the tree. A track day or track school. Who doesn't want to ride faster and better?!

Warning from the Surgeon General: Track Days are highly addictive and have been known to cause such side effects as distended smile muscles and safer street riding.

The nice thing is that you can send a buddy (or buddette?) a gift certificate for part of the cost to thank them for coming out in the dead of night to rescue you from a flat tire on the side of the road. Buy one for yourself and the two of you can have a great time together.

A common misapprehension about track days and track schools is that you have to be fast to attend one. Or that you have to be a racer, or have a race bike. WRONG! You only have to want to improve your speed and handling skills to attend. Every school has different groups on the same day that separates the newbies from the intermediates from the fast riders. They put you in with other riders of a similar skill level so that you learn in a comfortable environment. Challenging in an exciting way, but not terrifying.

As far as bikes are concerned I've seen Gold Wings, BMW GS's, and vintage Triumphs on the track. Ben rides his Sprint ST with the bags off while Dave has been seen on the track with his R1200RT and the bags still on. Beth has ridden her 175cc class racer in with the bigger bikes. I'll admit that choppers would probably be a little out of place. If you don't want to risk your own machine all the schools have bikes and leathers for rent at reasonable prices.

Here are a couple of ones that I know. Leave a comment if you have another favorite.

Penguin has been in New England for as long as I can remember. Several friends recommend them highly for professionalism, quality of instruction and amount of track time.

My friend Ben is a great fan of Tony's Track Days. Great people and plenty of track time are his comments. A nice feature is that they run at both Loundon, NH (NHMS) and NJ Motorsports Park (Thunderbolt)

On the west coast the California Superbike School has always gotten rave reviews. Keith Code has literally written the book(s) about fast riding so what more is there to be said?

Tell them I sent you if you want to feel cornered.

Christmas Wish List #11

If you only have new, modern motorcycles I suppose you could stop reading now. Especially if you live in San Diego where the weather's warm and you can ride all year. For those of us who like vintage bikes life is filled with carburetors to clean and batteries to charge. I told you about Yamaha Carb Cleaner some time ago. 

Battery Tender is the only way to go in the charging department as far as I'm concerned. They make a variety of models to fit all needs and budgets but the Junior has always worked good enough for me. The benefit of a BT is that they charge the battery without excess current which will quickly kill a battery. I don't know why or how but a car charger will knock off a good motorcycle battery faster than a cruiser pilot can down a 6-pack.

I used to recommend getting the cheapest, lamest battery charger you could find at the Dollar Store because it would only charge at .5 amps or less. Battery Tender is better because once it attains full charge it somehow throttles back to maintain that charge and no more. You can leave the charger on the battery all winter and it won't boil off the electrolyte. 

Cycle Gear had them for $19.95 Thanksgiving weekend but they're $29.95 now. Amazon has both the 6v and 12v Juniors for $24.99 and $21.68. Free shipping on anything over $25 so you save if you order one of each (or order one of Kevin Cameron's books). Every moto outlet has them so you may be able to find even better deals. Post a reply if you find one.

Tell them I sent you, their response will be shocking!

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Christmas Wish List #10

I'm looking out my window at 13" of snow that has fallen since I went to bed last night. Time to sit by the fireplace and curl up with a good book.

The easy choice for a present to a motorcyclist is one of Peter Egan's books, Leanings or Leanings 2. Although I own both of them I have to say that Peter leaves me a little cold. After reading the first dozen stories I felt that I had read them all. He and Barb take a trip, he sits in the garage with a beer and reminisces about old bikes, he wipes up oil spills from Vincents or Triumphs. Like a few bands that come to mind, after hearing the first three chords you know all the rest and wish they'd move on.

Kevin Cameron is quite the oposite, Top Dead Center and TDC2 are books that are fascinating and highly readable. Moreover they, gasp, actually teach you a lot about how motorcycles work. Kevin has such a wonderful way of writing that you feel that he is having a conversation with you. Suddenly the limits of maximum piston acceleration is not such a mystery and a carburetor makes sense (sort of). Check out his new book The Grand Prix Motorcycle and whoever has my copy of Sportbike Performance Handbook would they please bring it back.

This probably won't arrive in time for Christmas but Monkey Butt is a great read. Rick "Super Hunky" Sieman will never be accused of doubting how wonderful he is but the fact remains, he was there and he did most of it. Flogging twin shock MX bikes when they were new and cruising around in his El Camino makes for some very entertaining stories. 640 pages will give you something read all year long.

God's Middle Finger is not about motorcycles but is a tale of traversing Mexico's Sierra Madre which is one of the world's largest drug producing regions. Think of driving through Afghanistan and you get the idea. However, this is not some Gonzo story of yet another drug-fueled Norte Americano but rather a tale of a British writer who wanted to see if all the tales were true and what it was really like. He found out and the tale is captivating. There is a real insight into the culture of the region that I won't spoil by trying to describe it. Just let me say that it was my favorite non-motorcycle book of 2009!

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Christmas Wish List #9

David in AZ suggested that I take the list to #12 to emulate the twelve days of Christmas. Wow! Feedback! So here goes.

I've been a fan of Roadgear equipment for a long time. I have jackets, pants, bags, and accessories from them that have all stood the test of time. There are lots of people who will sell you a jacket but Roadgear does it at a price you can afford. And they stand behind all their products 100%. The reason is that the owner, Mansoor Shafi, is a motorcyclist of the first order. A past Wall Street wizard, he gave it all up to move to Colorado and start a motorcycle business. It shows in the products and customer service.

I think this Hi-Tek Bandanna would make a great stocking stuffer. Mine has a permanent place in my tank bag for times when it gets cold and I want a little extra protection against the wind.

This map holder is perfect for the next Giro or Tiddler ride when you don't want to lug an entire tank bag along.

A tool kit is so much better than a paper bag for keeping your tools organized. You can see in an instant the wrench you need when you're on the side of the road in the dark. It's also obvious which tool you're about to leave in the weeds as you wrap it up to get going again.

All these items are under $36 which is perfect for that last minute, how could I forget, gifts. But wait! There's more! Purchase before December 22nd and take 15% off your entire purchase with coupon code NRCD!

This makes it an even better deal. Ask for Jody and tell her I sent you. That will mess up their whole marketing campaign!

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Christmas Wish List #8

I had meant to end this list yesterday but then I realized I had missed one important category. DVDs.

First on the list is Riding Solo To The Top Of The World from Dirt Track Productions. This is about one man's trek through the Himalayas on a Royal Enfield 350 Bullet. It is truly a wonder to watch his struggle to visit a nomadic tribe at altitudes so high that his bike won't even carry him. Watch the trailer and then order the movie!



Gaurav Jani's second film One Crazy Ride is another movie that will be watched over and over again. There is just too much to see in one viewing. A group of riders decide to cross an uncharted area of India on their motorcycles by going to each village in turn and asking for advice about where to go next. The challenges and adventures are truly inspiring.

Dirt Track Productions is very quick about shipping so your order just might make it in time to slip under the tree. Don't delay, order both of them here.



Mondo Enduro is what the Long Way Round would have been if Ewan and Charley had the balls to leave their latte machine at home. Six guys with little money and no support go around the world on used dirt bikes. I think they set the world's record for number of flat tires and number of patches applied to a single inner tube. No support crew and vehicle to do the work for them while they sipped espresso. Aerostich has it here.

I've heard Ewan and Charley called "girlie riders" - I personally think that's an insult to all the women riders I know!
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Christmas Wish List #7

Today I'm wrapping up the Christmas Lists to tell you what I want. More readers!

If you like this blog tell your friends, link to it on your blog or website, spread the word in yellow snow letters 8' high so that passing airplanes can see it.

I have a lot of fun writing this but sometimes it's like the episode in WKRP where Dr Johnny Fever is sentenced to do the all night show. Somewhere in the hours after midnight he asks the question, "all midnight disk jockeys ask, Is Anybody Out There?"

Leave a comment from time to time so I know you're there. Thanks.

Christmas Wish List #6

This one is a bit big for a stocking stuffer but it's such a deal I couldn't pass it up. Honda seems to have quite a few left over 2007 Interceptors that they are willing to sell at deep discount. Without ABS these were $10,599. Now they are only $7,995 for the special edition retro color scheme. ABS is more if you want it.
Everyone knows about the Interceptor, it's won so many best in class awards that it seemed like nobody was ever going to unseat it. If you want to be reminded of the specs TotalMotorcycle has it all here.


Hey, who should Santa be nice to more than you? Call your dealer now, tell them I sent you for that special reindeer in the headlight look.

Away in the Maine woods

All the motorcycles in Maine are parked for the winter but the tobogganing is great. Back to the Christmas list tomorrow.

Christmas Wish List #5

Is there a motorcyclist with heart so dead that they have not longed to ride in Baja? The mountains of Italy are nice and the sands of Morocco are fun, but Baja beckons as a friendly neighbor with tales of excitement and adventure that are surpassed by none. The legends run deep through the very soul of the American spirit.

As if you needed any persuasion to do Baja the movie Dust To Glory will definitely get you to start making plans. You can watch the trailers here and here. And buy it here.

To make your plans you need a map and this is the best map I've seen yet. It has just been released a couple of months ago and has a very high degree of detail. It's so new that the gas stations might even be where they're supposed to be! (Insider Baja joke)


Click here to see a sample page. The thin red lines are dirt roads, the dashed red lines are 4-wheel drive, and the dotted red lines are where it gets really interesting. Bring your knobbies! At $27.95 delivered it's a steal. Order it here. Tell them I sent you. ¡En español!