Death March Tours Application Form

Following up on my last idea here's the application for joining a Death March Tour

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Death March Tours

Tour Application and Profile

Name ____________________________________________

Address __________________________________________

City State Zip ____________________________________

Phone/text ______________________________________

Tell us about yourself:

1. Knowledge

 I'm a young punk and I think I know everything.

 I'm a millennial hipster and I know I know everything.

 I'm an old fart and I've forgotten more than those ice holes will ever know.

 I'm just starting and have a BMW GS 1250 so I'm cool.

2. Experience

 I've been to Baja.

 I've been to Bushwick and Berkeley.

 I've done the TAT and was bored.

 I just park my Beemer and stand around looking cool.

3. Favorite Tires

 Whatever knobby is on sale.

 Continental TKC80.

 Dunlop 606

 The ones that came with the bike. They still have those cool little spiky things sticking out.

4. Favorite Destination

 Nearest enduro

 Nearest Starbucks

 Nearest woods

 Nearest biker hangout that's cool this week.

5. Current bike

 KTM 1290 Super Adventure R

 Triumph Tiger Explorer XCa

 Honda Africa Twin (RD07)

 I told you it's a Beemer. Be cool!

6. Road food

 Mickey D's

 Brew pub

 Denny's

 I don't eat. I might get some on my jacket and that wouldn't be cool.

7. Gear

 MSR - sturdy stuff.

 Rev'It - all my friends have it.

 Something I picked up on Craigslist - cheap.

 Klim - I want to look as cool as my bike.

8. Helmet

 Shoei (red / white / blue)

 Arai (flat black)

 Bell (white with scratches)

 Bilt (cool graphics that look like a P-51)

9. Store

 Twisted Throttle

 Street fairs

 Rocky Mountain ATV

 Cycle Gear has cool stuff cheap.

10. Maintenance

 I take it to the dealer

 I take it to an independent shop in Red Hook run by organic, vegan, free range, artisanal, fair trade, lesbian and trans-gender holistic mechanics.

 I change the oil every winter and spark plugs on odd numbered years.

 I haven't gotten enough miles to get the cool free first check.

11. Beer

 PBR

 Panty Peeler IPL

 Rolling Rock

 Wine cooler

12. Non-bike activity

 Nitro Circus dvds

 PS4 - MXGP 3

 No such thing

 Cool vampire biker chick movies

13. Pet

 Pit bull named Honda

 Cat named Dog

 Dog named Wrench

 Hamster named Mr Cool

14. Food

 Burgers

 Sushi

 BBQ

 Fruit salads with Cool Whip

15. Color

 Honda Red

 Artisanal Flat Black

 20-50 Brown

 Kool Lime

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Tourism 101

My new tourist idea. Pick up a couple of dirt bikes, and let other people pay for my fun. No frills, no fancy dinners, posers will be left to fend for themselves.

My tag line:

Fly in, get beat up,
and fly home with bruises and memories you can't get anywhere else!

Let me know if you want to sign up for the Beta group. Suggestions for a name will be gratefully accepted.

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Go with what you got

I used to teach a beginner's photography course at the Ocean Beach Free School. At the first class I would lay out several large 16x20 prints and my Canon SLR with some lenses. They would have their Nikons and Pentaxes proudly sitting in front of them. Everything they needed to start taking perfect pictures.

I would let them ooh and aah over my prints and then I would pull out an old Kodak Brownie from my camera bag and explain that I had taken the photos with it, not the fancy pro equipment. I then took out more of the cameras that I had found in yard sales and passed them out. I explained that for the first third of the class they would be using these to take their pictures. I explained that it was the eye and the heart that took pictures. The cameras were merely electro-mechanical devices that recorded their feelings.

Some of them got it, some of them handed back the cameras and left.

What has this got to do with motorcycles? No much but everything to do with the spirit of adventure. A fancy camera will produce only snapshots in the hands of a person who does not know what they are looking at. A person with the best adventure motorcycle will fail to find the experience they are looking for without an open heart and mind.

What is the perfect adventure bike? Simple, the one you are riding right now! One guy rode a Kawasaki Ninja to Alaska and back with only a sleeping bag tied to the seat. I know a crazy 17 year old kid who rode a Honda 50 from San Francisco to LA down US 1. then on up to Yosemite, and topped it off with a return to the Bay Area. Lois Pryce rode solo from Alaska to Argentina on a Yamaha XT225. And is still going ...

 Adventure doesn't mean far away places and months long trips. It starts by taking a different route home from the grocery store to see what is down that road you've never taken. Stopping for coffee at a place that looks nothing like the usual places you stop at. Setting aside Google Maps and Siri and looking at a paper map to plot your next trip. I look at bikes loaded down with gps and nav gear and wonder where the adventure is in being told what to do by a robotic voice. 

You're never lost, just misplaced. Look at the world with your eyes and your heart. The world is waiting for you.

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