Romance

A farmer and his wife are driving along in their pickup when she says,

        Remember when we used to drive all scrunched up close, side by side?

He replied,

       I ain't moved.

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Boston Drivers Abroad

A few months back a woman in a Mercedes was riding on my back bumper maybe 2' away. I kept slowing down but she didn't get the message. Finally as she roared around me I pointed the way to heaven with my middle finger.

At the very next light we were sitting next to each other. She rolled down her window and yelled, "You didn't have to be so rude about it!"

I replied, "Since you were driving like you were from Boston, I wanted to let you know that I'm from Boston too!"

Who knew a Mercedes could do a burn-out?

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Certified Adult

Once a month I take the neighborhood kids to the town swimming pool. It gives them a break from their parents and their parents a break from the kids. It's fun for me and we have pizza afterwards to celebrate that nobody drowned.

Yesterday I took 7 kids (aged 4 - 11 years) for the usual fun and games. This time it was a little different. The kids had to stand next to a line on the wall and the ones that weren't tall enough got a white wrist band to signify that they were limited to the Kiddie Pool.

Then the woman turned to me and wanted to put a blue band on my wrist. 

"What is this for?" I asked.

"This shows that you are a responsible adult."

What? Wait! Me? A Responsible Adult!?!?!? - Never in my life has it ever been suggested that I was either Adult or Responsible. This was a whole new chapter in my life. There must be some major shift in the cosmos for this to take place.

Despite this life changing event we all had fun and nobody drowned. The double pepperoni pizza went first followed by the Hawaiian pineapple/ham. Stomach aches are not counted as a casualty.

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Spring

Today is that glorious day when I reach into the back of my closet for the shorts I put away last fall. 72F today so I'm loving it. I know all of you in Arizona and California would be grabbing your fleece sweaters but here in the land of big mountains we're celebrating!

I had to go to the store so I donned shorts and a t-shirt. I'm so pasty white that people were grabbing their sunglasses as I walked by. What can I say? At least I wasn't like one person who was as white as I was and at least 250 pounds! Do they make super-duty flip-flops for people like that?

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